


Too Recently for Comfort

by Aveysauce



Category: Original Work
Genre: Drabble, M/M, i wrote this a while a go, its flowery poetic bullshit but not pretty enough to really be that, its very short, this is just for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:26:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aveysauce/pseuds/Aveysauce
Summary: This is just an idea I'm toying with, something small that will likely never come to fruition. I might write more if there's any feedback, or if I have an idea for it. Not sure yet. Neither of the characters are developed yet.





	Too Recently for Comfort

Steve couldn’t for the life of him remember when he met Eric. Somewhen between the very beginning and too recently for comfort. He wasn’t sure if that really mattered anyway, for a meeting is not just one moment but a collection of interactions and the oh-so-impersonal tidbits of modern life. Sure, sometimes you get this magical night where a connection is made and you leave with something, a ticket a picture a stamp, something to give you a sense of importance or clarity, perhaps a willful ignorance of the negativity of the situation. Something real, to say the least. But those meet-cutes never seem to work out, they set you up for disaster in giving spectacle to someone who in the end can never live up to your own expectations because they are just as flawed as anyone, regardless of their best intentions not to be. The meeting of Steve and Eric was far from memorable, neither could really say when the two first interacted. Even then, they had seen each other in passing and in life. There was no spectacle, no moment where one had thought “wow, what an amazing person this one seems to be”, no point where anyone could say things had changed. The relationship between Steve and Eric was just as undefined as their meeting, it was just short of something but enough above nothing that an uneasy tension had settled between the two.

On their own, they existed in a liminal space, time meaning nothing and everything all at once. They were both uncomfortable in their moments of attraction and admiration for each other. Steve found himself adoring Eric, by virtue of his very existence, and decided that he would make no attempt to conceal or reveal his feelings. They just were. This really contributed to the difficulty at hand. Steve was not one for falsities, he did his best to convey his feelings in a reasonable and honest manner, and yet nothing was made easier. Eric was uncomfortable in the entirety of the situation. Despite not caring for putting a label to his name, Eric had never thought of himself as anything but heterosexual. 

If anything, Steve’s identity was complicated. He hadn’t sought to make the lives of him and everyone around him more difficult than they needed to be, but being transgender and bisexual but not that kind of bisexual and really not that kind of anything is inherently… difficult. It just is. Throw in an intangible infatuation for someone who can never love you back yet struggles with his sexual attraction for you and the situation can only become increasingly operose in nature. 

The two were best friends of a sort. At least, to Steve they were. To Eric, best friends could only be dogs, but Steve was close enough anyway. Eric consistently admonished Steve for his adoration of him, noting his puppy dog like nature. Steve was nearly always saddened by this. Eric knew but couldn’t find it in him to care. 

Steve wanted so badly to know what was really going on. Eric did too, unawares of his position in directing the situation. 

They kissed once. Only once. Steve was getting over everything, too. But it happened. Then they swore never to speak of it again. The tension was gone, at least seemingly so. But as the kiss had changed nothing, the tension manifested into one of a different kind. And so the two fought. Although all of this took months, and there was a story worth telling then, it can only hurt to tell it now. So instead, they were hurt. And neither knew what to do. Everything was uncomfortable and everything felt wrong. Both of them had different reasons as to why. It would be this way for just as undefined a time as the period leading up to it all. 

Everything always blends together. In the end, everything will mean nothing at all. And yet they, we, try. We try, and for what? The stories we tell are important but only in that other people’s lives will be bettered. An admirable, if meaningless goal. The question to be asked, then, is what makes something meaningless? What gives anything meaning at all? Hopefully, we do. That seems like too much to ask for, though. 


End file.
